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On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep, by Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam
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Distinguished pediatrician Dr Robert Bucknam, M.D. and co-author Gary Ezzo are two of the world's leading experts on infant management concepts. In this revised 5th edition, they have updated their groundbreaking approach which has found favor with over six million parents in all 50 states and has been translated into 16 languages around the world.
For over 20 years, On Becoming Babywise has been the de facto newborn parenting manual for naturally synchronizing your baby's feeding time, waketime and nighttime sleep cycles, so the whole family can sleep through the night.
In his 26th year as a licensed Pediatrician, Dr. Robert Bucknam, M.D. along with co-author Gary Ezzo, demonstrate how order and stability are mutual allies of every newborn's metabolism and how parents can take advantage of these biological propensities. In particular, they note how an infant's body responds to the influences of parental routine or the lack thereof.
Early chapters start with explorations of everyday aspects of infant management such as the three basic elements of daytime activities for newborns: feeding time, waketime, and naptime.
Practical discussions then focus on broad and niche topics including feeding philosophies, baby sleep problems, baby scheduling challenges, nap routines, sleep training multiples, baby sleeping props, Colic and Reflux and many other dimensions which impact breast feeding schedules, bottle feeding tips and baby sleep training.
Five resource Appendixes provide additional reference material:
1) Taking care of baby and mom
2) A timeline of what to expect and when
3) Baby Sleep Training Problems and Solutions
4) Monitoring Your Baby's Growth
5) Healthy Baby Growth Charts
On Becoming Babywise is more than an infant-management concept. It is a mindset for successful parenthood. It can help any parent develop a plan that meets both the needs of a new baby and of the entire family. These principles have worked for millions of parents and, when applied with common sense to your unique situation, can work wonderfully for you too! Recommended by doctors across the country. "As a mom, I parented both ways. As a certified lactation educator, I know how discouraging it is to feed a baby around the clock with no apparent advantage and how fatigue will affect her milk supply. I also know how discouraging the first eighteen months of parenting can be without a plan. I know, because with my first child, I did everything the opposite of what is taught in this book. Before my second baby was born, I was introduced to the Babywise concepts. Applying these principles revolutionized my thinking. Instead of being in baby bondage, I was liberated to be the mother God wanted me to be. I have consistently used this series with the women I counsel. These mothers have met with tremendous success, whether bottle or breastfeeding." -- Barbara Philips, R.N., C.L.E. Los Angeles, California
- Sales Rank: #414 in Books
- Brand: Ezzo, Gary/ Buckman, Robert
- Published on: 2012-02
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x 5.00" w x 1.00" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 279 pages
Review
"From a pediatrician's perspective, this is a sigh of welcome relief for sleepless, weary parents."
-- DAVID BLANK, M.D. of LONGMONT, CO
"My introduction to On Becoming Babywise came over 20 years ago when a discerning member in my practice noticed my frustration with the growing numbers of fatigued mothers, fussy babies, and their sleep nights. I was handed a set of audio tapes of this series. Being profoundly impressed with the insightfulness and relevance of the content, I began applying the principles in my practice. Word of mouth among our community has helped our practice grow exponentially. --Dr. Jim Pearson, M.D. Johnson City, Tennessee
"I am a practicing pediatrician and assistant professor of pediatrics. Residents and new mothers I work with have found On Becoming Babywise overwhelmingly successful. My residents report a positive difference in the confidence of new mothers who work with this plan compared to those who do not. The freedom Babywise provides a new mother is so refreshing. My parents become baby-wise with Babywise." -- Dr. Linda Meloy, M.D. Richmond, Virginia
"I have been successfully using On Becoming Babywise in my general Pediatric practice for the last several years. I have found it to be a very helpful resource for parents. I think any negative outcomes associated with this material is due to the misapplication of the principles." -- Dr. Thomas Gill, M.D., Pediatrician, Johnson City, Tennesee
From the Author
This is the current edition; the completely revised & updated version of On Becoming Babywise (5th edition, February 2012). We highly recommend ONLY purchasing the newest and most current version of On Becoming Babywise (isbn 1932740139). It has a new chapter, several important revisions, the latest in medical updates, and is 19% longer than the former version. In becoming one of America's leading infant management guides, On Becoming Babywise has continued to improve its methods and practices throughout its 24 years and this latest version is the result of all the best over the last two decades. On Becoming Babywise continues to gain global recognition for its common-sense approach to parenting a newborn. The infant management plan offered by Pediatrician Robert Bucknam, M.D. and co-author Gary Ezzo in this book helps parents successfully and naturally synchronize their baby's feeding time, waketime and nighttime cycles. The results? Happy, healthy and contented babies who sleep through the night on average between seven and nine weeks of age.
The best evaluation of any parenting philosophy, including Babywise, is not found in the reasoning or the logic of the hypothesis. End results speak clearly. Let your eyes confirm what works and what doesn't. You will be most confident in your parenting when you see the desired results lived out in other families. Stage One: Birth to 5 months -- On Becoming BabywiseStage Two: 5 - 12 months -- On Becoming Babywise 11Stage Three: 12 - 18 months -- On Becoming PretoddlerwiseStage Four: 18 - 36 months -- On Becoming ToddlerwiseStage Five: 36 - 84 months -- On Becoming Childwise
The principles of On Becoming Babywise were first shared in 1984. Sarah was the first baby girl raised with the principles; Kenny was the first boy. Both thrived on mother's milk and a basic routine, and both slept through the night by seven weeks. It was that easy. On Becoming Babywise has now been translated into 16 different languages and is utilized by more than 6 million parents around the world. As with previous editions, this update does not provide parents a list of do's and don'ts. We wish parenting were that easy. Rather, our larger objective is to help prepare minds for the incredible task of raising a child. We believe the preparation of the mind is far more important than the preparation of the nursery. Both can be a lot of fun. Your baby will not care if his head rests on designer sheets or beside Disney characters, nor is your success tied to his wardrobe or bedroom accessories, but rather to the beliefs and convictions that will eventually shape your parenting experience. It is our opinion that the achievements of healthy growth, contented babies, good naps, and playful wake times, as well as the gift of nighttime sleep, are too valuable to be left to chance. They need to be parent-directed and parent-managed. These are attainable conclusions, because infants are born with the capacity to achieve these outcomes and, equally important, the need to achieve them. Our goal is to demonstrate how this is done, but only after we explain why it should be done. We realize there are a number of parenting theories being marketed today, most of which come gift-wrapped with unrealistic promises and unnecessary burdens. In light of the many options, how can new parents know what approach is best of their families? Since every philosophy of parenting has a corresponding outcome unique to that philosophy, we encourage new and expectant parents to consider, evaluate, and decide which approach is best for their families. This can be accomplished by observing the end results. Spend time with relatives and friends who follow the Attachment Parenting style of infant care. Observe who practices hyper-scheduling, and certainly evaluate the outcomes associated with On Becoming Babywise. In which homes do you observe order, peace, and tranquility? Don't take any marketing plug or some strangers word for truth. Search for yourself. Consider the marriages as well as the children. Is mom in a perpetual state of exhaustion? Is she nursing every two hours or less? Is Dad sleeping on the couch? What is the family life like when a child is 6, 12, and 18 months old? Is Mom stressed, frustrated, or lacking confidence? Is the baby stressed, exhausted or insecure? When the baby is nine months old, can the parents leave the room without the baby falling apart emotionally? We believe the best evaluation of any parenting philosophy, including the one found in On Becoming Babywise, is not found in the reasoning or the logic of the hypothesis but in the end results. Let your eyes confirm what works and what does not. You will be most confident in your parenting when you see the desired results lived out in other families using the same approach. Look at the fruit and then trace it back to its seed source. The principles contained within the pages can help parents develop workable strategies that meet the needs of their babies and the rest of the family. These have worked for millions of parents, and when faithfully applied can work wonderfully for you! However, your pediatrician or family practitioner should always be consulted when questions arise about the health and welfare of your baby. Enjoy the journey of parenting!
"As a pediatrician, I cannot argue with the success of On Becoming Babywise. It is such a practical approach to parenting. It provides infants with needed structure and stability and brings the joy and love so needed in our homes today. The effects of not using On Becoming Babywise show up very quickly. That is why I have made these principles a priority of discussion in every well-child care visit. Parents constantly tell me, "It changed our lives." -- Dr. Janet Dunn, M.D. Chatsworth, California"As an obstetrician and a mother, my concern for a healthy out-come continues beyond the moment of delivery. Because the principles of On Becoming Babywise are so effective, I consider it part of my extended health care for the family. The principles are simple, yet amazing. They consistently produce babies who are healthy, content, and who sleep through the night at an early age. Feeding a baby on demand simply cannot compare to the overall healthy benefits of Babywise. The concepts take the guesswork out of early parenting and provide new moms the confidence of knowing what happens next." -- Dr. Sharon Nelson, M.D. Glendale, California"As family physicians and a husband-wife team, we are often asked questions related to parenting and the general care of children. Most of our basic responses are found in On Becoming Babywise. For answering parenting questions, it has become a practical guide, giving us a sense of competence and confidence as physicians and as parents. When the principles are put into practice, parents reap abundant rewards." --Tony Burden, M.D., and Margaret Burden, M.D. Bellingham, Washington
From the Inside Flap
"Babywise provides sound parenting advise and common sense pediatric care to many parents who are confused, frustrated, and downright sleep deprived. As a pediatrician and father of four, my wife and I routinely receive positive feedback regarding our children's behavior and sleep habits. Parents feel confident and relaxed when they have a plan and a goal for their infant and family. Once a family has found success with the principles of Babywise, they pass along their satisfaction to every new parent they meet. Simply put, "It works!" -- Dr. David M. Miller, M.D. Superior, Colorado
Most helpful customer reviews
1299 of 1395 people found the following review helpful.
A more neutral perspective
By Will Riddle
I am not interested in Ezzo- or GFI-bashing here in this review.
As a mom of three infant boys, each a little over a year apart with one more on the way, I see nothing wrong with the gist of the Babywise book. The principles for eating and sleeping work rather well if you employ them with some grace and flexibility as tiny ones require. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Ezzo's do not suggest tossing your tenderness, intuition, or creative parenting out the window--they provide some basic eating/sleeping instructions very similar to those sent home with Mom a generation ago from Dr. Spock, the pediatrician, or the hospital nurse (but not highly common nowadays due to the AAP's shift in philosophy). Such advice will not harm your baby unless you employ their methods religiously as if it is the "magic formula" to enjoying newborns. There exists no such formula--not in Ezzo, and not in the Sears or child-centered camp either.
Briefly, the basic principles covered include:
1. Feeding approx every three hours
2. Trying to keep your baby awake during feedings and a little afterwards.
3. Putting your baby down to sleep before the next feeding
4. Keeping your baby on a eat-wake-sleep routine to help their hunger stabilize for faster nighttime sleeping.
5. Trying not to allow babies to become overdependent for sleep on any one prop (rocking, swings, slings, pacifiers, car rides, etc).
6. Generally helping the baby's needs to fit into you and your family's routine, rather than arranging you and your family's needs completely around the baby's routine (or having none at all).
I maintain that these principles, while presented a little briskly, are not damaging to infants. They are in fact very helpful if after a month or two your baby does not naturally seem to eat or sleep with any pattern, or if he/she has the days and nights mixed up. But people take the Ezzo's too far when they pretend that their methods are gospel to tending, pacifying, or loving newborns--or MAKING them do anything. All they can do is provide guidelines for structure. And yet there is a tendency for new parents with a distinctively wailing newborn to be anxious for solutions to stop the crying, and for signs that they are feeding the child enough, doing all the right things. If you follow Ezzo (or Sears) believing that they will keep you safe, your real relationship with your baby may suffer because that is the wrong mentality to approach parenting. It is this formula-seeking, intimidated approach to parenting that is the real danger to a child's health and psychology, not the actual guidelines in the book. I thoroughly believe that any wild incidents you hear about concerning Ezzo-following came from this mentality, at the root.
That said, it is also true that not all methods are created equal. With one preschooler, one two-year old, one baby, and one forthcoming child in the house now, my husband and I have found that a philosophy which leans a little more towards where the Ezzo's are coming from produces better results than the philosophy that the Sears' or even the AAP endorses, especially by late toddlerhood. The tendency for child-centered parenting to go awry by the two-year old stage--for the parent OR the two-year old!--is noticeable. And the time demands on a parent (or two) practicing this way is almost impossible if you work or your children's ages are close together.
I agree that Babywise could use a little more seasoning of flexibility and lovingkindness in its presentation. It seems to assume that you have already heard all the right ways to parent and is therefore coming from a corrective position rather than an objectively inexperienced one. However, the basic principles are presented clearly and that is the purpose of the book. I found that the principles worked especially well with my first son who cried a lot, had reflux, and could have been considered "a difficult baby." The advice was not so necessary for my next two sons who were easier babies in the eating/sleeping area (and had a more experienced mom!). For more warmth and depth, I'd recommend Tracy Hogg's "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" which combines the best of the Babywise advice along with some humor and nuanced examples of how to apply this stuff.
Or, on the philosophy end, you can try "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson for a vision of motherhood as a whole and then try to apply the Babywise advice in that context. After all, parenting (even infants) is not just about helping them to eat and sleep right... although it certainly feels like that for the first couple months.
399 of 435 people found the following review helpful.
The theory works, but use common sense!
By A Customer
There is some valid criticism of this book, which is the reason that I only reluctantly give copies to brand new parents--both singing the praises of the methods and warning not to apply everything Ezzo recommends blindly.
The basic premise is that you feed your baby when it first wakes, and wake the baby if it falls asleep before getting a good, complete feeding. Then you try to keep the baby awake--at first this will be only a few minutes, maybe just 2 or 3 minutes in a newborn. Then, while the baby is still awake, lie him or her down to sleep. The main idea is that you don't let the baby depend the breast or nipple to go to sleep--the baby learns to comfort and put herself to sleep. The theory is that babies wake naturally every few hours. With this method they have the skills to get themselves back to sleep without fully waking or waking you once, twice, three times each night.
It REALLY works for most babies. I'm sure there are some babies who just don't have the temperment for this, but it worked like a charm for my baby, and for all of my friends whom I've turned on to the book. I have a five month old who sleeps 12 hours at a stretch without waking and has done so since she was 10 weeks old. Not ONCE since she was 10 weeks old has she awoken in the middle of the night, and she wakes up in the morning so happy and calm it's hard to believe. Often, she'll wake about 1/2 an hour before her usual waking time and "sing" and coo to herself in the crib. When she sees me come into the room, she is grinning from ear to ear. And despite the fact that she has just gone over 12 hours since the last feeding, she is not ravenously hungry in the morning--rarely finishes her very first bottle.
The one drawback to this method is that it's hard for the baby to sleep anywhere but her own crib. We don't go out much, but find that when we do, we can't stay out too long past the baby's bedtime because she won't just fall asleep in the car seat or our arms for more than a few minutes as our older daughter did. She gets very cranky and tired, and seems so releived when we finally get home to her own crib. She's also comfortable in her portacrib, so that she won't go bezerk when we travel--don't forget to factor this in!!!
That said, the critics are right when they say some of Ezzo's advice is stupid and dangerous. Even though he claims his recommendations for a feeding schedule are flexible, they are actually very rigid, and an inexperienced parent who tries to rigidly adhere to them can end up causing dehydration in the baby. I tell people I give the book to that they should try everything they can to make sure the baby takes as much as she can with each feeding, but if she can't go as long as Ezzo recommends between feedings just go ahead and feed sooner. It still works fine.
Also, it's ridiculous to let a newborn "cry it out" for more than just a few minutes. My children have the uncanny knack of just escalating and escalating when any attempts are made in that direction. So just be consistent. If the baby seems to be getting more upset, go in and give comfort, and then start the routine to get the baby to sleep again. I only had to do this for about 2 days to get my newborn to settle down for naps.
Sometimes during the day, my newborn would cry for no apparent reason and be very upset. My attempts to comfort her didn't work, so I'd put her in the crib to give myself a moment to calm down. And the minute she'd hit the crib she'd smile and go right to sleep. She was trying to tell me that she was tired and wanted to be in the place where she sleeps.
Ezzo's idea to place the baby in the playpen or a baby seat in front of a window to amuse herself is pretty ridiculous for a young baby. Baboes aren't awake that much to begin with. PLAY with him or her!!!! As your baby gets older, you can leave her in a safe position to play for a little while--but don't expect 45 minutes as Ezzo recommends. When you're baby starts to express frustration, it's time to give your baby some attention.
However, I don't agree with critics who say this method is incompatible with "attachment parenting". Nothing says you can't be very attached to your baby while letting her sleep in her own space--at least for naps and for most Americans at night too. This baby sleeps so well and seems very secure and serene. She is cuddly and happy to be in our arms, but just as happy to be put in her crib when she's tired. When she's had enough rest, she is positively joyful (and so am I!!!). When she's awake, I am with her, carrying her in a sling or front pack, playing with her on the floor, tickling her on the changing table--everything an "attached" parent would do. But with this method the baby takes great naps so I get things done or a chance to rest myself, and we both have wonderful, restful nights.
If you overlook some of the advice Ezzo gives, I think the basic premise is very good.
348 of 415 people found the following review helpful.
Very misunderstood, but wonderful book
By J. Leo
A friend recommended this book to me before my first daughter was born, and after reading the reviews on Amazon, I was certain that I wanted no part of it. After my friend assured me that the things I had read were in no way true, I bought the book and have used it with both my girls, and recommended it to everyone I know expecting babies.
First of all, this book NEVER says not to feed your baby if he/she is hungry. In fact, it states in bold, in several places, that you absolutely need to feed your baby if he/she is hungry, regardless of whether they last ate 3 hours ago or 1 hour ago. One of the main points of the book is to try and figure out why your baby is crying or upset. If he/she is hungry, feed the baby. However, your baby may cry for many reasons, and not all of them are because the baby is hungry. Feeding your baby everytime he/she cries leads the baby to snacking, which isn't good for you, and is especially bad for the baby if you are breastfeeding. The richest, most calorie dense milk (hind milk) is found toward the end of the feeding cycle, and doesn't come the first few minutes of nursing. If your baby is snacking, he/she is never getting that rich hind milk.
The second main point of the book is to change the cycle that most parents employ with their babies. Instead of putting the baby to bed right after feeding, feed the baby after he/she wakes up from naps. This way, the baby will stop eating when he/she is full, not when he/she is tired, which is a huge problem, especially with very little babies.
I don't believe there is one single right way to raise children, so if you've read the book and don't think that their methods fit with your lifestyle or goals, that's one thing. But I can't see how anyone who has actually read the book can dismiss it as dangerous. Again, the book tells you in several place, in big, bold letters, that if your baby is hungry, FEED YOUR BABY!
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